November 20, 2014

6 Splendid and Totally Free Gifts Husband Can Give Their Stay-At-Home-Wife (Anytime of Year)

Dear Husbands whose wives stay home with the fruit(s) of their loins all day:

These “gifts” have the potential to bless your wife all year round, not just at Christmas time. These gifts keep "Mom Brain" and "the crazies" at bay. These gifts are the kind that keep on giving. Wifee won't be disappointed.

1. Five minutes peace. (Okay, ten to twenty minutes peace might be a little more effective.) But this might mean letting your wife hole up in your bedroom with a book or in a hot bubble bath while you take care of Baby during fussy evening time. This might mean offering to make dinner or do the dishes or a load of laundry. This might mean taking Children completely out of the house to some unknown location. Some wives (like me) are homebodies and don’t even need to get out of the house as much as they just crave some peace and quiet. I mean, how often do moms get to enjoy some time in her own home when there are no people and no noise and no messes? Not often. Seriously, just take the child(ren) anywhere. The grocery store, McDonald’s, the park, the garage. As long as they come back alive and in one piece, what happens with Daddy, stays with Daddy.

2. Prayer. I recently wrote about how important it is to pray together as a couple. Husbands, it is just as important to remember your wife in your personal prayers too. Praying for the members of your family – especially your helpmeet – is a vital task as the spiritual leader of your home. Keep her on your prayer list constantly. Most husbands know from those random “Just Daddy” days that taking care of children all day is draining, and takes an extra dose of patience. Pray that she will maintain joy in what is a blessed, but tiring task. Pray that Christ will give her strength as she spends time with His littlest disciples and sets a godly example for them to follow.

3. Give her a reason to dress up. (Every once in awhile, at least.) As a young married couple, we understand how funds are tight. But who says you can’t get fancy for a nice, free walk downtown to look at the sites? Remind her of your dating days, when you made the effort to plan dinner and an activity together, and she made the effort to totally knock your socks off with a little make-up and hair straightening. It’s the little things like this that remind her, she is not just your housewife or the mother of your child, she is still your hot girlfriend who you could barely keep your hands off way back when…and still today. (Oh, and an extra tip, don’t forget to actually say the words out loud, “You look beautiful.” Don’t make me explain the reasoning behind this, because women often can’t be reasoned with. Just trust me.)

4. Greet her with a kiss after work. Every day. (I actually think this is my job as a wife, but if both Husband and Wife are putting forth effort, it makes it even more likely to happen.) Even when her hair is disheveled, her face is greasy, and her breath most definitely smells like goldfish crackers, this is one of the kindest gestures you can offer your wife each day when you walk through the door after work. It tells her you don’t just love her, but you actually kind of like her too. That maybe you even missed her a little bit while you were gone.

5. A hobby. Women need hobbies just as much as men do. A hobby reminds her, again, that she is not just a wife or a mother, but that she is a unique individual with her own personality and gifts. I love to write. I love to play volleyball. These keep both my mind and body active. These remind me that I am also a thinker and a friend and a teammate. These breathe life into long days and sometimes monotonous weeks. Encourage her in her hobbies and “extra-curricular” interests.

6. Tell her she is doing a good job. It was a hard decision for me to stay home and give up teaching when our baby was born. Even though I always knew I wanted to stay home if it was financially possible, and that for our family it was the right thing to do, it was still difficult when it actually came time to make the decision. I don’t regret it, and know I never will, but there are a few things that Husbands can say that absolutely encourage the mother of his children (whether she works at or outside of the home): “You made the right decision. Thank you for sacrificing for our family. You are doing a great job. You are a great wife and mom.” What support. What kindness. What joy you can bestow upon your wife.

Husbands, hopefully you aren’t bummed to not find more concrete Christmas gift ideas here. (Although turning these ideas into carefully crafted, handmade coupons for your wife just might get you nominated for “Husband of the Year” award.)

And Dear Husbands, we as wives know that you work really hard, and that you don’t have a lot of energy at the end of the day either. We thank you for the opportunity and blessing that it is to be able to stay home with your child(ren) because you are willing to work so hard. And we thank you in advance for these areas of extra effort that you can bless us with that in turn fill our “love tanks” with warm fuzzies.

Husband, you are the bomb.

Grace and Peace,